Friday, May 13, 2011

I Love You, Always and Forever Will

Words can not describe the pain and suffering in my heart. It saddens to hear you say, "I don't want to be with you." I'm still very much in love with you. In fact, I love you more than anything or anyone else in the world. But I guess I have to let you go. You mean the whole world to me. Now that you're gone, and with someone else, I can't see how I can go on in these difficult times. You've always made me smile when we were together. Now there's nothing left, but a shadow of some memories.

It feels like a thousand pins and needles stab my heart every time I think about you, and how we can no longer be together. I'm willing to do anything for you. Even this, as much as it hurts me. Because I love you unconditionally. I accept you for who you are, and what you have done. But you will never know this. I miss you so much.

As sad and depressed as I am in this time of grief, there is a bit of frustration in me. I was initially angry at the thought of you returning to your ex, because of your feelings for him. But then I found out that you two can not be together. For what reasons, I do not know. Now, at a mere two months since we've been apart, I am a bit frustrated that you're already interested in another man. But not just any man. Your sister's boyfriend's cousin. I think Andy is his name. There's something wrong with that, I don't like it. I hope you realise that if you two do go out, and find him to be a perfect match for you, then you two will be related in more ways than one.

But I can forgive you. I'll forgive you for everything you have done and what you will do. Because I love you, no matter what. If you think you will be happier with him, then I won't get in your way. I'll leave you alone for good, I promise. I won't bother you anymore with my troubles or my senseless feelings. You do not care for them anyways.

"I don't want to be with you."

Those words are still haunting me. But I still want you to know that as long as I breathe, I will always be here for you. If you ever need me, I will be here for you. Because I love you.

I love you...

Stay sharp,

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Good Morning

That was the first thing I would say to her. Text her that every morning. Feels like I'm going to miss it a lot, now that she found me a bit of a nuisance and annoying. I realized it myself, seeing as I've been constantly texting her for the past week, nagging at her when she doesn't respond. She's right though. I have been bugging her. Bothering her when she's out, and I know she can't respond to me like she used to.

I know she's been busy with her own things, hanging out with her sister and her friends. But I can't help but worry about her all the time. I still miss her. And I still want to be with her.

I guess it's better if I stopped bothering her so much. Give her some space. She said that I can wait for her, but no guarantees though. I'll wait for her... even if she finally decides not to take me back.  Because she is worth it. And I love her dearly... more than anything or anyone else in the world.

They say if you love someone, let them go. If it was meant to be, they'll return to you.

I hope so. And I hope for the best.

Stay sharp,

Monday, April 18, 2011

Hello, World!

I never thought I would blog again, not after what happened in college.

But I feel like I need this, now that she's gone. She even told me to keep a diary/journal to express myself, but I've tried that in the past. I feel like online blogging is much more efficient and simpler to keep, especially easier to express myself.

Stay sharp,